Something by Me and Something by Them

Lies pouring out of me
I convinced everyone, even myself
Covered by a jeweled veil for all the wrong reasons
Why wasn’t there a single right reason present?

Don’t smoke, don’t drink, don’t party
Follow the rules and you’ll be perfect
Never mind the rules were meant to be broken
How else do we learn?

Six feet under they were buried
My heart’s true feelings were silenced
Pleasing everyone else comes so naturally
When did my own self stop mattering?

Planning a bright future out of dark clouds
While smiling through the hurt
Tears of pain flow down my cheeks
I’ve known all along what I should do

An immaculate wedding was thrown

While a marriage ceased to exist
Roommates coming and going

Enjoying their time apart far more than the alternative

They both deserve better than a constant battle
They both deserve hearts filled with love to give and receive
They both deserve to look forward to the rest of their lives
They both deserve a new beginning

Cath. . .

by "Death Cab for Cutie"

Cath. . .

She stands with a well intentioned man

But she can't relax with his hand on the small of her back

As the flashbulbs burst she holds a smile

Like someone would hold a crying child

Soon everybody will ask what became of you

'Cause your heart was dying fast

And you didn't know what to do

Cath. . .

It seemed that you lived in someone else's dream

In a hand-me-down wedding dress

With the things that could have been, are repressed

But you said your vows and closed the door

On so many men who would have loved you more

Soon everybody will ask what became of you

'Cause your heart was dying fast

And you didn't know what to do

The whispers that it won't last roll up and down the pews

And if their hearts were dying that fast

They would have done the same as you

And I would've done the same as you

It Starts With Goodbye

The long walkway; the secured entrance. “Where’s the clerk . . .of . . .the. . .district court?” I could barely get the words out. I just knew the officer could see right through me and was judging me for what I was about to do. Even if you’re 100% positive you are making the right decision, it doesn’t make this day any easier.

An elderly woman, a kind woman, tells me I still have some forms to fill out and there are things that still need to be notarized. She assumed I was completely prepared for this. Obviously, she assumed wrong. I sit down at a small classroom-like desk, to look up and find myself staring at the Marriage License window. My hands are shaking as I fill out the Civil Information Form. Laresa Julieanne White vs. Christopher Aaron White. Plaintiff vs Respondent.

I give the forms back to the woman and because everything on the page looked foreign to me, she patiently explained the next steps I had to take in order for this to be finalized.

Step 2: Notify Respondent of your Petition for Divorce.